Mafia Gazette Past Issue 28
19th September, 2005 'BOSS KILLINGS CONTINUE' By Valencia Last night around 11:30pm Street Boss Boo_Diggins was gunned down in his home city of Los Angeles. Boo was seen standing outside his bar talking to someone outside in what seemed like a very heated argument. Shortly after the one man departed, Boo stayed out side as if waiting for something. Sure enough that something found him. A black sedan came tearing down the street as the window rolled down, the car slowed just enough for one of the masked mans bullets to find its target. Boo was rushed to the hospital, and died shortly after. Police say that they are following a lead to do with a confession this morning about a Mr. DukeBlitzkrieg being the one responsible. The police are also looking into other possible leads on who the killer and the driver may be. Six other Street Bosses have met similar fates over the last 24 hours. Gothic-Angel was closely followed by mansintini in two separate incidents, and other shootings included Thirty-Three, Deleter, St_Cuthbert and most recently, Gregoire_de_Fronsac. Only two of these deaths had definite leads to the shooters, with Stan seen running away from the scene of St_Cuthbert’s killing and a member of the Shadow Soldiers, SkillzTurns21, tagged Gothic-Angel’s funeral. Gregoire’s killing is believed to have been an inside job, done by one of his crew. It is unknown whether all these deaths are related. If anyone has any information on these deaths, please contact the police or the Gazette as soon as possible. 'NOTES FROM THE ASYLUM #3' By: Lexocon Just another Manic Monday? WOoahh-eh-ohhh. I have zero recollection of the weekend's events and thus conclude that one of the patients got hold of the tranquilliser darts again. Damn those pesky kids. Recently at St. MZs: TeQ is responding well to treatment, though currently believes he is a television set. On the upside, his volume control is fully functional. TieDomiII and Moran have had to be moved to our high security wing after a drugs smuggling operation was uncovered. Tie had ingested bags containing hundreds of pills whilst Moran had injected thousands of skittles in an attempt to "taste the rainbow". It became evident that something was amiss when the duo began to sound like a giant pair of maracas. We admitted our 1000th patient over the weekend, so a quick thank you to staff and crazies alike for their ongoing support and for keeping St.MZs open. I love you guys! 'MISS MAFIA PROTESTS' By The Miss Mafia Reporter The miss mafia contest got off to a slow start today as a couple of protesters set up a petition in the street soon after the nominations were announced, they were annoyed that many of the streets older and respected women had been overlooked. At first the judges reacted badly and lashed out at one of the protesters saying it was too late and there was nothing that could be done, but soon negotiated their request and extended the deadline from the original 11:30pm Saturday till 8pm on Sunday. So with many people making there new last minute nominations we could well see some new faces added to the original line up set out to us early yesterday. Some people though, were not so happy about the idea of an extended deadline and so started uproar at the protest stopping people from getting anywhere near the protest to join it. The protesters, only voicing there opinions started to receive abuse from bystanders but it did not stop there a couple of the bystanders then went on to slag off the lovely ladies who where already in the competition accusing them of 'jumping on the band wagon' and calling them 'attention whores'. The noise outside was so much that it got the attention of BarbieDahl who had to come out and tell the people to move on and telling those who didn't like the contest not to bother coming back. She also made a good point that none of these sorts of comments where made about the men’s contest 'Mr Mafia', none of their nominees where called 'attention whores' or where accused of 'jumping on the band wagon', showing us that women are not yet seen as equals on these streets. The Miss Mafia contest has not yet started and it's already causing havoc in the street... 'BIASED JUDGES?' By: Tea_Jenny Not long after the judges and nominees for the Miss Mafia contest where announced one of the judges, a former Mr Mafia contestant, announced on the streets that he would be holding a grudge on the ladies who judged in the Mr Mafia contest and voted against him, naming in particular CarmelaDeAngelis, Lexicon and Valencia who, although was not a judge herself, is the daughter of one of the judges. He went on to mention revenge and payback at these ladies who didn't vote for him implying that he would be voting against them with no regard to how well they answer. This gives the other contestants an unfair advantage over these poor woman who once gave up their time and provided their services as judges for our entertainment and who are now being punished by this man for there decisions not to vote for him. This is just one of the judges voicing his threats and petty grudges, but how many of the others hold silent grudges or have favourites before the contest even begins? Do any of these women really stand a chance of winning or have the judges already decided? Perhaps the people running the contest need to take a closer look at some of their judges if there is to be a fair contest. 'INVESTIGATIVE REPORT: DOLPHINS, HOW MAFIA LOATHES THEE.' By: Champ Kind Could there be anything more annoying than a Dolphin…other than Tie? I went on a Two day hike through the wilderness to find out. On my adventure I met many other believers like me. Like this man named Axe2 who lives in a shack down by the ocean, when I first met him he was finishing up throwing rocks in the ocean and yelling expletives at the dolphins. Here’s what he had to say about them. “I personally hate dolphins, what is their purpose anyway? We don’t eat them; they aren’t doing anything useful in the Sea. So why bother with them? If it was up to me we would club each and everyone one of them and eat them. I mean how smart can they be if they get caught in nets all the time? Besides they make a very annoying sound.” With that in mind I headed to my next destination, the Los Angeles Docks. This is where I found out why most people in our coastal cities dislike the dolphin. I spoke to a street boss there, who told me that every time he has his crew put some guys in cement shoes, the dolphin goes and rescues them. He said “this thoroughly displeases me, and when I get really mad, I come down here and kill them with my trident.” So the dolphin may be a hero, but he is also a snitch, saving people that some don’t want to be saved. This is why people all over are poisoning dolphins, and I think they have the right. Some other people told me they thought dolphins were “smug bastards” because they smile all the time. Others said they were “cute furry little creatures that shouldn’t be harmed.” This made me believe they had no idea what a dolphin was. But anyways to keep our Fair Cities safe and away from danger, we need to rid ourselves of these Loser creatures, and make it safe for our children again. The war against the Dolphin begins… 'LETTERS PAGE' Dear Gazette, I watched with disgust the Mr. mafia contest. It is a horrid display of dehumanising the male body. Now I have to see the same thing happening to the ladies of our world. Do not you people know that this is an abomination to god who created man from his image and woman from man's rib? Each person is a perfect creation of God and the desecration of his creation cannot possibly please him. I beseech you to call of this facade, this meat market before God turns our cities into the next Sodom and Gomorrah Yours in Disgust. 'WE HEAR THAT…' Gossip column by: Trixie ....WipeOut was seen shopping in a high end ladies store this weekend. While he was standing in front of the Dressing room mirrors he was said to be wearing a lovely Red number with a leopard print hat. Tsk, tsk WipeOut, Leopard print is so out of season right now. ....MarcoPolo is Afraid of water. ....Clutz was seen at a cafe talking to a man in a trench coat. When the said man crossed his legs, he revealed Fishnet stockings and a pair of dangerously high, high heels. They Exchanged money after their conversation then Clutz left, shortly followed by the stranger. Some say they went to the say apartment, though some speculate That it was a club. ....Valencia was seen this weekend table dancing at a club trashed off her rocker. With her were Trevor, Mst and Vito_Capone. While They Shouted encouragement at her, they continued shoving singles in her Extremely short skirt. ....TieDomiII Payed BarbieDahl to let him MC the contest. In other news, upon hearing Tie would be the MC Several women have contemplated dropping out to avoid the sexual harassment, and Having to turn tie down every single round of questions. 'OBITUARIES FOR SEP 17TH - SEP 18TH' *Striphe : Another leader gunned down. Although apparently provoked, he was still a decent fellow. Mencia, Rest In Peace my friend. Who-Err! Sambora, RIP brother :( *VitoReturns : The son of a respected family line, he was loved as his forefathers were - deeply. Red__Rabbit, RIP Vito Doc_Holiday2, RIP...vaya con dios...my friend *Gothic-Angel : A friend to all and well loved, she is a great loss. Tower_Is_Pissed, RIP... Pastor_Garrett, Dang RIP find me *mansintini : Always seen engaging with people in the streets, and always liked, he'll be missed. tina, RIP..... mail me when you get back! Silvio_Dante, Rest in Peace. *Thirty_Three : Very little is known about this quiet man, he will be a loss to those who knew him. MafiaMistress3, R.I.P *Boo_Diggins : One of the most respected people around, a momentous loss to society. Scarin, Darn Boo this was extremely uncalled for.Rest in peace. BexMahoney, I didn't know you personally sir, but heard nothing but good things about you. RIP *Deleter : Someone who was close to friends yet distant from enemies, those friends will miss him. MrUntouchable, RIP Mr_Axe, RIP mate :( 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. The popular pub Sinatra's has finally reopened in Las Vegas and Los Angeles. So come on down have a drink something to eat and sit back relax and listen to some music. I am currently looking for staff to work in my bar ‘Sinatra’s’. Duties will involve a number of things, which would be best discussed in private so send me a message. Even if your not looking for work then please drop down to ‘Sinatra’s’ for drink and some live music provided by yours truly, and if anyone else wants to perform then again drop me a line and ill get you ASAP. Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact CarmelaDeAngelis, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand. '' 'REFERENCES''' '''1. '''Article taken from http://pvp.a.mafia.org/gazette.php?issue=36 Browse • • • • • • •